The Importance of Thank You
By Jeannette Webb
I was raised by a Southern Belle and, as such, grew up writing thank you notes. My mother drilled into my head the importance of telling others that I was grateful for their gifts. Southern manners established the habit, but I didn’t understand until my late teens that the heart needed to be included as well.
I was in college and had just received a fairly sizable scholarship along with another young woman. I dashed out the obligatory thank you: I am so honored – I am grateful for your support of our college – thank you very much. The other young woman didn’t understand the efficiencies of thank you note writing and instead wrote a long chatty letter filled with details of her life, her struggles to pay for college, her gratefulness to this elderly man. Every so often she would write another letter to him catching him up on what she was doing and, without realizing it, showing him that his scholarship money had indeed been invested well. He was delighted with the correspondence and soon established a larger endowment to cover scholarships for even more students.
I can sometimes be slow, but this I understood perfectly. Thank you notes became more than an insipid discharge of my duty. They began to train my heart in true gratefulness for those who had made an investment in my life, and as such, started to bless the recipient as well.
Scripture is full of reminders that we should have a grateful heart. Remember when Jesus healed the ten lepers in Luke 17? Only one of the ten came back to say thank you, and he was a Samaritan. I’m afraid the odds are even worse today. Think about it. When was the last time somebody thanked you? When was the last time you expressed your gratefulness? Here are some reasons for practicing gratefulness and a few ideas for recipients of our grateful hearts:
Those Who Volunteer
There are many volunteers like Boy Scout and Girl Scout leaders, convention organizers, field trip coordinators, choir directors, Sunday School teachers, event planners, co-op directors, volunteers in sports leagues, campaign workers, etc. When I am at an event organized by volunteers, I go out of my way to thank them for their time. As one who has served in this type of capacity for years, I can promise you that very few people even notice those who are behind the scenes making life work for others.
Those We Employ
Many people fill our lives – medical professionals, mail carriers, phone operators, store clerks, and service providers. Have you ever thought about thanking them? In the last few weeks I’ve been thanked several times and it was a delightful surprise. College applications wrapped up January 1 and shortly thereafter I received a brightly colored Dr. Seuss card from a young woman that I assisted. It was especially relevant as she is an interpretive storyteller who acts out Dr. Seuss books for young children. Her handwritten thank you note is now on my bulletin board bringing a smile to my face every time I see it. Not long after that, a CD came – music arranged and performed by another senior client. He sent it to thank me for my help over the years. His beautiful music surrounds me as I fix dinner in the evening and reminds me of the delightful young man I am privileged to work with. Now, these folks paid me for my time. Nothing else was expected. But their gratitude touched my heart and confirmed that my labor is not in vain.
Those Who Protect Our Country
I have a friend who makes a point of thanking any military person who crosses her path. One day she was in a restaurant and saw a man wearing a Vietnam Vet baseball cap. She went straight his table and thanked him for serving our country. As the tears coursed down his grizzled face, he said, “Lady, no one has ever said that to me before. You’ve made my year.” Needless to say, tears welled up in her eyes as well.
Training a Grateful Heart
I do not think that gratefulness comes naturally to most people. Like so many other habits of the heart, it has to be trained. Of course I required my children to write thank you notes for gifts. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg! When at conventions or political rallies, they came with me to verbally thank those working in the background. At Thanksgiving, they helped me make pumpkin bread and cookies to fill “Thank You Baskets” for all the people in their lives – Sunday School teachers, AWANA leaders, piano teachers, Boy Scout leaders, etc. When my son completed his Boy Scout Eagle project, we carried huge platters of cookies to all the community leaders and businesses who had helped him advertise and organize his project – the police station, the fire department, the newspaper, the radio station, the cable station. In every instance, they were totally shocked. People ask them for help and donations every day, but nobody had ever come back with a tangible thank you.
Why Does Gratitude Matter?
1. If you are a Christian, scripture is filled with reminders that we should be grateful. So, we need to see it as a necessary part of our lives.
2. If you train our hearts in gratitude, it begins to change the way we perceive our circumstances. We begin to look at life differently and in a more positive light because we see clearly how much we have to be grateful for. Ann Voskamp has done a magnificent job explaining this concept in her book, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are.
3. Establishing a Gratitude Habit makes it easier to be appreciative. An entrenched habit is done without thought, therefore it becomes a natural part of us.
4. Gratitude encourages those weary in well doing. You never know when your note or kind word gives someone else the courage to keep going. We cannot discern the private battles other people fight or the wounds they carry or the loneliness they feel. Whether they contribute money for a huge scholarship or encourage your child during little league sports or are paid to take care of your business; every person needs to know that their work and sacrifices matter.
5. Gratitude can open the door for others. Like my fellow scholarship recipient whose grateful heart spurred the generous donor to more contributions, our thankfulness can make a difference for those who come later. My son was one of the early homeschoolers to receive national science awards and scholarships. He was very aware that how he handled his success would open or close doors for other homeschoolers that followed him. Seven years ago he wrote a transparent, heart-felt letter to the president of a national organization thanking him for a significant scholarship. He followed up with the organization as he progressed through college and into graduate school. A few months ago, I got a call from this gentleman who shared that he had never in his long career seen a more eloquent thank you letter. He wanted permission to publish it nationally and to use it to recruit more donors to the program in order to provide even more scholarships!
6. The net result of training a grateful heart is humbleness. Like many bright young men, my son had a tendency to cockiness, which could easily have led to arrogance. But, the years of training in gratitude kept his feet on the ground and his heart humble. In fact, when his high school graduation rolled around, he chose an entirely different event than I would have planned. I’ll be honest, I was ready to showcase his awards and activities to prove to people what homeschooling could do. He, however, would have none of it. He chose to turn his graduation into a public thank you for those who had invested in him. There was a PowerPoint presentation showing photos from our church family and homeschool group. On the inside cover of the program, instead of the list of awards and college acceptances, Austin chose to pay tribute to the man who mentored him in science from the time he was a young boy. Here is a small part of what he said:
“There is certainly the temptation to be proud of where I am, to say “look what I did” or think of myself as somehow a self-made man, but it wouldn’t be true. Probably no one who ever lived can say that they achieved purely by virtue of their own faculties and volition. If the truth be known, we all are much indebted to fellow human beings who offered a helping hand even though no obligation compelled them.”
Is your heart grateful today?
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Where’s Jeannette?
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