Note from Jeannette
Dear Friend,
Autumn is my favorite season. It has always been a reflective time of year for me. The intense heat of the Oklahoma summer is past, the field crops are planted, the gardening is over, and we've settled into the routine of school. There is finally time to sit with a cup of tea and think.
I've asked myself some hard questions over the years during this thoughtful season and I haven't always like the answers I came to. As a result, I've had to do some re-cultivating in my life or in the lives of my children, let go of some unproductive habits, or choose to be more honest with myself. Hopefully, this edition's feature article will give you some things to think about this autumn.
Blessings,
Jeannette
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Feature Article: Parenting Choices
As a parent, you have a unique mission field. You alone have been given the responsibility to train up your child in the way they should go. This responsibility wasn't given to their pastor, youth minister, sports coach, or teacher. It was given to you because the Lord knew from the beginning of time that you were the most qualified person to handle the assignment.
In fact, I will go so far as to say that, for this season of your life, this is your ministry. I am deeply grieved for all the Christian moms (and dads) whose lives are dominated by a lay ministry, when their most important work is right there under their noses at home. While in the middle of child rearing it can seem like it will last for the rest of your life (and consequently you feel you must do all these other things if you are ever going to have the chance), the truth is that it goes by in a heartbeat.
Slowing down - You wouldn't be getting this e-zine if you were not an extremely conscientious parent, but I invite you to relax in the midst of this most important job. Training for excellence is not a huge "to do" list, but rather a walking with your child daily at a pace slow enough that you truly know them and understand their joys and fears. It is a willingness to stay connected even though this could mean the sacrifice of your time and a laying aside of plans. You can choose to see this as your cross, but I encourage you to lay it at the feet of our Lord and then it becomes a calling. A cross will drain you, a calling will empower you.
Being real - It is also a choice of being real in their presence. You are not just their laundress or chauffeur; they need to see you as a human being with struggles and dreams just like theirs. In this way only can we develop a deeper relationship with our kids and not just be their servants. Choosing to be real can lay the groundwork for a deep and meaningful relationship not only while they are at home, but especially after they leave to begin life on their own.
Deciding what life should look like - I think this all starts with making an intentional decision about what life should look like for your family and eliminating those things that don't fit. This is a highly personal decision and there are no right or wrong choices. Don't worry about what everyone else at church or at school are doing. Usually families who have truly trained for excellence don't look like anyone else around them.
Just to get you thinking, here are some examples of what I have seen. Some parents make the decision that television and video games will not be a part of the environment at home. Some decide that extracurricular activities will only consume 1 or 2 days a week. Some set the boundary that Sunday is for family only and that nothing will interfere with that. Some choose ministry or leadership opportunities only if they can be pursued by the entire family. The key is that you make an intentional choice and not allow life just to happen. Choose to do less, a whole lot better.
Understanding your child - God designed your child as a one-of-a-kind miracle! I certainly understand that there are moments when they seem more like a demon than a miracle, but, nevertheless, they are a gift, put in our family for a specific reason. In a few, rare moments of understanding I have seen that in wrestling with a character flaw in my child, my own character has been developed as well. Other times when I see a problem with them, it is merely a reflection of my own weaknesses. Ouch!
It is our job to look at our children with honest eyes. Do you know how rare that is? It is to see them for what they are and to figure out what they need. What weaknesses do they have that we need to work with them to correct? What strengths do they have that need to be channeled in the right direction? Our goal through all of this in not to shove these treasures into society's boxes, but to help the flower bloom in all its splendor.
To do that, we often have to walk away from what feels safe. You see, the real goal of the years we have them under our care is NOT to get into a good college, but to help them develop into multi-dimensional human beings who value their faith, their family, and other people. If we keep our perspective where it should be, all the rest will follow in due time.
A Parent's Prayer -
Lord, our Abba Father,
Slow the pounding our hearts and minds. Take away the worry for our children's future. We thank you for our children and ask that you protect their hearts, minds, and bodies. We thank you for the awesome privilege you've given us to raise them.
Give us the courage to leave the desert of our popular culture and choose the hard road that leads to higher ground.
Give us the courage to be parents with you as our role model. You are both tough and tender. You love us enough to test our resolve and let us fail. You expect our best, but love us no matter what mistakes we make. Thank you for setting out the rules clearly and then allowing consequences when they are not followed.
Thank you for the constant reminders that you want us to be holy, set apart. Help us be that for our children. We ask you to change us, Lord, through this whole parenting journey. Help us walk ever closer to you become purified through the fire of life experience.
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Resources: Students with Disabilities
There are many students (including highly gifted ones) with disabilities ranging from minor to severe. Did you know that it is possible to receive accommodations during your standardized tests that are administered by College Board? In fact, the law requires that the playing field be leveled so students with disabilities have the same opportunities to demonstrate what they have learned that other students have. According to College Board:
Appropriate accommodations are identified based on your disability documentation, whether as verified by your school, or as determined by the College Board's review of the documentation. The College Board's process for determining appropriate accommodations provides for considerable flexibility or customization to accommodate each student's special needs. For the four major categories of testing accommodations, the following are examples of accommodations the College Board provides to ensure that eligible students get the accommodations they need:
Presentation - Large print (14 pt; 20 pt), fewer items on each page, reader, colored paper, use of a highlighter, sign/orally present instructions, visual magnification, auditory amplification, audiocassette, colored over lays, Braille, Braille graphs, Braille device for written responses, plastic covered pages of the test booklet.
Responding - Verbal (dictated to scribe), tape recorder, computer, record answers in test booklet, large block answer sheet.
Timing/Scheduling - frequent breaks, extended time, multiple day (may or may not include extra time), specified time of day.
Setting - small group setting, private room, screens to block out distractions, special lighting, special acoustics, adaptive/special furniture/tools, alternative test site (with proctor present), preferential seating.
There are also accommodations for students with hearing impairments and for those with functional disabilities that might need a computer for the written part of certain tests.
If you suspect that your student might have disabilities, it is important to get them diagnosed early. It can often take a great deal of time and energy and it is critical that everything be in place before the student begins taking standardized tests.
Check things out at:
http://www.collegeboard.com/ssd/student/index.html
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Coming Soon!
Many of you have been asking for this and I'm thrilled to announce that within the next few weeks our first book will be available on our new website. Called to Influence: A New Approach to Life, Education, and College Admissions contains four years of our columns from Practical Homeschooling magazine. Watch for it!
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About Jeannette
Jeannette Webb is the founder of Aiming Higher Consultants, a firm dedicated to helping Christian students gain admission to great colleges. She has a heart for assisting parents as they train their children for excellence. Jeannette works to empower families to make thoughtful choices for their younger children, to confidently navigate the difficult high school years, and then ace the college admissions process.
If you liked today's issue, you'll love her personalized consulting services that help you map out a holistic plan for your student.
While Jeannette is best known for her clear-sighted counseling, her clients feel that her biggest gift to their family was permission to be themselves.
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