It is interesting to be the parent of young adults because you begin to get glimpses into the workings of their minds as children. It never fails to surprise me.
The catastrophic events, that came close to crushing my husband and me, glanced off their backs and left them totally unscathed. The special events we planned are remembered and appreciated, but the treasured times seem to be the little things: changing irrigation pipe late at night, baking cookies, exploring the canyon by our home, late night talks. In fact, the thing my son missed most when he left for college was washing dishes after supper at night. That may sound strange, but that was when the cares of the day softened with the sunset, I pulled up an old rocker and read aloud to the kids as they cleaned up the kitchen.
At the time I fretted over lack of money and lack of opportunity. I worried that they would be emotionally crippled because of the difficulties we were going through.
However, if I have learned anything through the years, it is that children are remarkably resilient. They don’t need stuff and they don’t need a ton of activities to grow into remarkable adults. They just need lots of time with parents who stay in the moment with them, who are willing to talk at the minute it is needed, who remain positive and resourceful when faced with less than ideal circumstances.
Your life may be filled with pain or loss right now. You may be dealing with financial problems, health issues, extended family concerns, or any number of things you think will damage your children emotionally. I want to encourage you to stay the course and to stay positive. Kids can survive anything, provided you survive. It was in the most desperate of times that I became the most creative and taught them to do the same.
My son’s take away from the years of struggle: “Impossible just means I need to try harder.”
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This article is so lovely, in part because you have shared some of the details of those hard times with me over the years. How grateful I am for what has come from those times and you willingness to share.